operation harelip BJ is a go
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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