STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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