It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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