the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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