Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
