brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
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