Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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