She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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