Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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