I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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