she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
