I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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