omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
