Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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