Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
