Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
