I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
