I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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