My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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