She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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