new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
