i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize