I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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