Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
