how can u be prego again
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize