Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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