Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
