Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
