I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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