i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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