If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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