I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
