The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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