There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think my tv is drunk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
