you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
bring money and cleavage
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
