after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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