I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
