Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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