last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
