Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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