sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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