if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
