we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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