Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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