The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
