I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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