I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
