Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
