If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to have your abortion
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
