yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
