Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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