You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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