Dual....:-)
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
