Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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