i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
