you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
