you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
