I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
