You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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