need another drink. this is the easiest way
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize